Where Hath you Gone? Day 3 and 4

Okay, so if this is the first time you have viewed you are probably wondering why the hell I look so funny. Well about 3 weeks ago I shaved off my eyebrows. I have loved them ever since. To the left of my text is day 3 without eyebrows. To be honest I think I have way too much fun without my natural eyebrows. One thing people ask about when they see that I have shaved my brows off is "Why?". I think the best reason is to make them see that if you mess up your eyebrows - they are only janky for 2 to 10 minutes where as if they pluck/do something else to their eyebrows - they can be stuck with it up to a month!

My last blog was just a sort of "Okay so you want to shave your eyebrows" thing. This one is the first few days after shaving your eyebrows. At first you will really want to study other people's eyebrows especially if you want to draw yours on. Eyebrows can be hard to draw and take a lot of patience so if you get really nit picky you probably don't want to ever shave your eyebrows. Your eyebrows are sisters, not twins. One formula for almost every eyebrow shape is lines up with your nose. We are going to use our good friend Katy Perry's face. She has these amazing eyebrows perfect for showing you the formula. See how I have gone directly up from the tip of her nostril to show where the eyebrow should start? That is your anchor. Unless you want weird eyebrows and then forget all these rules that I will share. The second line is connecting her nostril and her pupil. This is where the arch of the brow should hit. Somewhere on that line. It doesn't matter how low or high really- everyone has a different eyebrow that looks good on them. The third line lines up the nostril and the corner of the eye. This line is where the brow should end.  These are the basic rules for natural looking brows.  You are going to want natural looking brows at first. They will make you more comfortable with drawing eyebrows and will keep you aware of what shapes really do suit your face.

After getting natural brows down you can choose to do weird eyebrows. I do weird eyebrows on my days off. Using bright colors like I did on day 4 can be a lot of fun. Shaping these weird brows on the other hand can be hard to do. These brows on me are very arched. This means I had to extend the lines a great deal. I also have a word of advice for those who want to draw funky eyebrows especially in weird colors like purple or green. Certain colors will stain your face. I know the purple eyeliner I own stains my face for three days and other red based colors will do so as well.

Where hath you gone? Day 1 and 2

I shaved my eyebrows about two weeks ago. And now I want to do at least a month without them. So this is day one's eyebrows. I find it is really easy to do your eyebrows most days. Other days I get stuck and debate not doing my eyebrows whatsoever. One day I didn't even bother with them. I guess I will talk about how I did it and why and what to do once you do shave your brows. Not many people talk about this so I figured why not me?


When I shaved my eyebrows it was more of an impulse. I had thought about it for a while but not seriously enough. I woke up February 22, 2012 and told my mom I was going to shave my eyebrows. She didn't believe me. I told my friends and they all discouraged me greatly. But I knew I could do it and wanted to. The next day my friends all told me I was wrong and said they actually liked my fake eyebrows. Some of your friends may actually ask you to do funky eyebrows for you like mine did. 

One thing I must make clear  is if you are thinking about doing this, you need to be sure of yourself. Do you have the patience and time to draw on eyebrows everyday? What about the days that you don't have time to draw brows? Can you handle not having them? These can be some big and scary questions not to mention the people who will tell you that you may not grow your brows back or that they will come back in patches. Don't worry about that. Eyebrows usually do grow back normal and if they don't (RARE) you can get new ones tattooed on. But you have to make sure you are willing to do a lot of work.

Day 2, I decided I wanted different brows everyday. If you go to school you have to have fairly natural brows. No green ones except on weekends kind of thing. But you can play around with shape and sometimes color. Day two was easier than day one but my brows still end up awkward some days.

Well I am going to go take more pictures of my brows ;D With love. May your wit be as sharp as your dagger,
Albus

A few notes

Its hard to be vegetarian.
Its hard to be stupid.

I am so glad I am only the first one (every other week ;) )

Vent

I usually don't complain much. If I do it isn't in person. But today I feel overloaded.... and I don't feel like I have anyone to tell this to.

I think the reason why I don't go out much whether to homecoming or to the movies isn't because I am never invited (though the invites are starting to stop) but rather because I am afraid of facing facts. When I wake up next to a friend and we get up and I talk to their mom. Their mom asks me about my mom and I say "She does her thing, I do mine, and when it interferes with her's she lets me know" it really depresses me. It makes me realize I really have never fit in anywhere.

I have always known I am an unwanted child. My mother got pregnant when she was just getting out of high school. My biological father never wanted me really. He was the first person to ever abandon me. He told me recently that he wished he would of manned up and became a proper father. He tries making up for what mental anguish he has caused but he is too late. His emails are nice but they don't bring me a real dad.

Steve, who likes to call himself my dad, is not the crappiest person but is really close. Steve and I have never gotten along. We have tried therapy twice. We have tried just hanging out but the truth is - I don't think he knows how to love. Everything with him is material. He can't just have a conversation or even hug his own daughter (my sister). He has always shown favoritism towards her. I have always been second best. And to top that off, he thinks I am the average teenager: uneducated, vain, and inexperienced. Tell me I am uneducated after you hear that I was the first one to realize he was having an affair. "I love you, bye." - that's how I knew. He doesn't even tell his daughter he loves her and at the time he didn't even tell my mom. And then when we began therapy for the second time (he would tell me that he didn't like my therapist, I don't know about you but since she was my therapist, shouldn't it be me who decides whether I keep going to her?) when I told him I was scared of him - he laughed. I tried reaching out and making something work with him but he would end up being the second person to abandon me. Homophobic bastard.

I used to have some I could tell this all to. I think because she left and had a baby, she changed and I lost that person. Sometimes I feel she left because life here wasn't good enough, because I wasn't a big enough reason to stay. I know it isn't true, but it feels like it sometimes.

I blame myself for a lot of things. Not spending enough time with a dying man is one of the biggest ones. He was my dad. He was so important to my life. I wanted him to walk me down the isle, I wanted him to see my children. I wanted him to be there when the parents walk the seniors down the Marching Band field and at graduation. But he died. And I miss him so much. I think it is maybe every other week I break down and cry over him- like I didn't cry enough the first few months he was gone. My grandpa, one of the greatest guys in the world, gone. And I still regret never telling him... I had so many chances to tell him but I never did. He wouldn't walk me down the isle to a man. My boyfriend in high school wouldn't be a boy...

To top that off, my mother acts like a teenager. With her boyfriend all the time. Never home when she is supposed to be. I should know to make dinner 10 minutes later than usual because she will be late by at least 15. And recently she told me that she had an affair too! It wasn't as big as Steve's (he would have a woman come to his office to do the nasty etc) but she still did. How can I forgive her when I still can't forgive Steve? How could I ever go into a relationship now, knowing my "original" parental figures are both cheaters? Sometimes I wonder how I trust at all. I don't want to grow older and realize one day that I don't trust the person I have been married to for 5 years.

Well, I think almost all of that is out of my system.
With love
Albus

What day am I on again? haha

I just came home from Aberforth's (my brother). My arms are sore and I really wish I had a dog. I think the reason I want a dog so bad is because I get lonely often. Something about having a dog lets you know you are safe. They are the companion I would want if I were walking alone in the woods or if there were a fire in my house. My cat is annoying too. There is an underlying hope that the dog will catch and kill the cat or at least maim her voice box.

Also, I don't know why but I find myself spiraling into poisoning myself again. I don't know why I fall into unhealthy relationships and don't get out. Sometimes I wonder if I think I deserve them... Maybe I am a little too sadistic...

Well now is the time I say good bye and type something for three hours, totally forget to feed myself, and shower.

bye,
Albus

Day 3.

Gingivitis is a scary thing. It can increase your risk of heart attack/stroke as well as the obvious oral problems.
I have a very stressful life but I still find time to do the minimum of brushing twice a day. I use fluoride at least once and floss at least once. SO I don't understand why my gum line appears to be receding. I just don't understand how this could happen. The second I noticed my gums were looking funny I began paying more attention and being more though in my brushing. But my gums just keep getting worse! I need to go to the dentists and am due to go soon. I just hope that when I get there, it's not too late. I really want a smile that will last me until I am at least 90. I don't think I could handle being 20 with dentures (Unless they are the ice cubes that my grandma bought for Christmas. Ha ha!).

I think that is my one worry for today. Although a close second is a rumor going around school. Apparently I am having a friends-with-benefits relationship with someone I rarely talk to. In fact I don't ever want to talk to them again unless it is about the weather. I think the reason why I am so upset about that is because this girl was really special to me once and broke my heart multiple times. It also bugs me that people would think I would be so desperate to do the entire friends-with-benefits thing. I want a relationship. I want something real where I am not doing all the work. I want her to love me as much as I love her. I want a HEALTHY and HAPPY relationship. Kind of like the one my great-grandparents have- 90 and still holding hands, making jokes about little things, yet still loving each others' flaws...

Well, bye

Albus

Day 2

Today I realized something. I really want a bra that does the supporting for me... I walk home almost everyday going "Dang, I wish my back didn't hurt!" and it hit me. If bras were made to hold them up, why does my back still hurt? And I realize not everyone has Ds or bigger, but I have always been around women with larger breasts and they aren't supported by their bras either....

Now is your chance boys, go out and make a bra that WORKS and looks sexy. Not only will women love you but also you get to work with boobs for a while. Plus money is an added bonus. Just saying...
Albus