I just came home from Aberforth's (my brother). My arms are sore and I really wish I had a dog. I think the reason I want a dog so bad is because I get lonely often. Something about having a dog lets you know you are safe. They are the companion I would want if I were walking alone in the woods or if there were a fire in my house. My cat is annoying too. There is an underlying hope that the dog will catch and kill the cat or at least maim her voice box.
Also, I don't know why but I find myself spiraling into poisoning myself again. I don't know why I fall into unhealthy relationships and don't get out. Sometimes I wonder if I think I deserve them... Maybe I am a little too sadistic...
Well now is the time I say good bye and type something for three hours, totally forget to feed myself, and shower.
bye,
Albus
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